Life's hard for all

What is Normal

I sit, and I wait, and I try to think about what I can do to make myself normal

Or at least more acceptable

I could hang out with some friends

Go watch some tv and sit and chat

But I have to make sure I stay on topics that wouldn’t make me lie to feel like I fit in

That I feel the way they do about everything

Or something more than others

So maybe not that

What Should I Do?

Maybe I could go on a date

Sign up for a dating app

Oh no, that could be trouble

What if my friends find out I’m looking at

So no, not that

Okay, so I know what’s safe

Just go to bed and get some rest

But then, when I go to bed, my mind won’t shut off

And I’m stuck with the thoughts that I’m trying to ignore.

When I get here

This is when it gets ugly

This is when the spiral goes down

This is when I try to hurt myself